LIVING OUT LOUD

“Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” … [My dark side says,] I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.”
~Henri J.M. Nouwen~

Old habits….tapes playing in our heads…..beliefs about ourselves…..

hurtful things people have said from our past…..

are hard to shake, aren’t they?

Because I believe that I am unloveable….I set myself up for rejection just to prove that lie to be true.

TRAGIC

If I wait to “feel” like I’m “Beloved”

I will be waiting for a long, long time.

It is in the walking it out…..reminding myself of the truth….letting go of past hurts

forgiving

That this “truth” of whom I belong to

Who I am

Becomes my reality.

Sometimes I must remind myself hourly

Some days I forget to remind myself at all

smile.

Since I have begun to get in touch with this “dark side”

of my soul

I have become more aware of the

MANY

lies I believe

And

Change has begun to occur.

Truth ALWAYS wins

Even when it is about the things we least like in ourselves.

Baby Steps

The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God’s eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity and held safe in an everlasting embrace . . . We must dare to opt consciously for our chosenness and not allow our emotions, feelings, or passions to seduce us into self-rejection.
~Henri J.M. Nouwen~